Okay. So everyday can be the very first day on a new path... right? I tell my children that. It's about time I take my own advice. If I am going to do this thing, be persistent and finally get published, I will have to share myself with the world. Not such an easy task when you are a secret loner.
I was thinking about yesterday and how nervous I was submitting my novel. How when the concept of possible representation remained abstract, I could relax... but with the possibility came the fear. Crap! Someone is going to know me. My book lays me bear. It is not a memoir but it was delivered onto the pages from the hidden places in my mind where I do not let myself linger. And now I live there.
So if I am to embrace my work, I have to embrace that part of me that is surfacing. the part I shoved down in order to try to be the "normalest" person. I should have known better. I am a sociologist and we know no one is normal. The word doesn't' even have relevance in the discipline. I am who I am. "Know thyself..." right?
So here I am. In all my chaotic glory. These are my favorite colors. I am messy. I am dark. I am all over the place. I try to get it together, and am mostly successful...but never satisfied.
Blogging. What a joy! I mean it. I have seen posts recently where writers are feeling bogged down by blogging. I can believe it. But the thing that is fascinating me is how old fashioned it all is. Think about it: back before telephones, and televisions, etc... people gravitated to one another out of similar interests and social circles. They visited each other and left calling cards on pretty trays in foyers. (kind of like leaving comments, no?)
For me, that is what blogging has been about. Connecting with the students most interested in sociology. Connecting with the writers who are on a similar path (and holding on tight to them!)
And recently, through research for my WIP, finding new friends who are interested in the same dark loveliness that I write about as well as where my mind mostly wanders off to....
Through that search I found a friend, and with that friend we started a new blog (yep!) but that one is dedicated to all things dark: So don't go there if you don't like Gothic, sad, creepy, haunted things. We call it The Wednesday Chronicles. You can click on it to visit. Or stay safely here.
This blog (suzyhayze) is for my writer friends, my students, my live friends, my family. The other one is the dark side. This one is six days a week with a recipe on Saturdays. That one is a team site where Ophelia and Myself will post when we feel particularly gloomy.
I feel I am on the path now. That I have my land legs. That I am beginning to embrace who I am, and in doing so can stand by what I wrote with a clear head and a quick hand...for revision.