Thursday, June 25, 2009
Help! Role Confilict Ahead!
Who am I? Mother, Wife, Teacher, Writer, Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Friend, Student? In sociology we use the term STATUS to refer to the different types of social standing we inhabit. If we have many, as listed above, we call that a STATUS SET. Each status comes with a role, defined as the way we are supposed to (or expected to) ACT while preforming the duties of each status.
When two (or more) roles that are attached to two separate stati oppose one another, this is called ROLE CONFLICT.
I am experiencing a lot of role conflict these days. To keep up with all of the expectations that are necessary to fulfill the roles (competently) connected to each status, is killing me.
When I have to go to work and my baby states "Stay with me mommy.." I feel role conflict. When my husband asks me to close the computer in order to come watch tv with him (giving up one screen for another?) I feel role conflict. When my kids are sick and I have to give a mid-term... role conflict. When I am exhausted from a long, hard day and my husband wants to ;) ROLE CONFLICT.
And now, with revisions that are so important... waiting to be done, and the path to my own personal dreams seems to be opening wider, my husband and children are getting increasingly impatient with the sounds of the keyboard and the back of a lap top. They are quickly losing patience for this "hobby." Ack. Role conflict of the worst kind.
And we haven't even touched the fact that I can't seem to pick up the phone and call my gram. What? Shut UP right?
So I have to do what we all have to do. I have to choose. This is difficult for people who are, at their core, pleasers. I have to say things like "I need to do this because it is important to me." and "This is not a hobby, this is my career." There are a lot of "I's" there. Not "we's" and families function much better in the "we" universe.
I know you all have this problem in one way or another. Share. It feels better!