I was always good at making friends. Superficial ones. Forever popular (I worked hard at it) and yet a closet dork who wanted nothing more than a good friend to really know me. Not the me I was outside, the me that lived inside. A common dilemma. A very ordinary condition.
Having children is a great way to escape fake friendship (it is also a way to get more and more involved, but I am not a "mommy and me" kind of mommy so I didn't have to worry about that.) And husbands, especially the kind we like, they help too. They take up time and energy that used to be spent on phones and in crisis mode with girlfriends. I have enjoyed this part of grownupdom.
I seem to have stumbled on a new sociological finding. One of great and relevant significance. Interaction in the blogosphere. Not facebook (the term friend there must have been created by a really angry unpopular little boy) Facebook is the mecca for all things fun and fake and showy. Useful for networking and looking at pictures of children belonging to your childhood friends. I like looking up old boyfriends and noting that I aged better, is that mean? Probably. Sites like facebook and myspace are peeping tom sites. Driveby's . "Freind Collectors."
Not so our blogs. Here is where we lay ourselves bare and hope that we can strike a similar cord with the people who graciously visit and spend their own precious time reading our words or looking at our pictures. It is not a passive act, blogging... it is active, and intimate.
I, the grown up with no time for real people friends (Mary Frances and Sarah M. are excluded here because they come to my house, walk in, and hold me close even if it is against my will) seemed to have made a nifty group of online pals. I am ever grateful, and authentically interested in what you have to say and how you say it.
And I am finding that there are different ways that people connect through their blogs, just like in life. They make groups, they flock together, they find one another and secure themselves in a social niche. I feel some of that happening to me... again, totally normal. No explanation necessary. Human behavior. But for me, the anti social one.... extraordinary.
Thanks folks. For real.