It is scary for some people, the idea of change. Not for me. When I was little my mother moved the furniture around a lot. She moved it on a whim, on an idea torn from a home and garden magazine, or sometimes to "change the air" if something bad had happened.
I loved those nights. Moving the furniture, finding lost treasures hidden under the couch. The lamps giving off a strange glow as they waited for their shades to be put back on. Most times I would fall asleep on an errant couch, only to wake up in the morning to a whole new room. A whole new beginning.
I miss that. Here, where I live, in my own life, things stay put. My husband is not a fan of change. It takes him time to get used to good things, let alone bad things. Chaos is a fear of his. I revel in it. This is what happens in life, we strike a balance and opposites do, in fact attract.
And think about how hard it is to plead a case for chaos and instability? These are not winnable arguments. So I live this way, and try to make chaos of my car, or bedside, or underneath my vanity sink.
Lately I have thought about how becoming agented or published even, (Ack) would change my life. For the better! But what about his? My dreams are not his dreams. His dreams are home and family and job and security. We have a bunch of that. My quest for something more begins to threaten the balance of his world. Let me put it a different way, I am beginning to move the furniture.
And I hope that in the end, when he wakes up, he will find the world we live in a beautiful, if changed, place. I hope he will see that not all change is scary, that some is necessary. I need him to recognize that we changed a lot to get to where we are... it just took longer, and was less visible.
I am walking happily into the unknown. He is standing behind me. Let's see if he can follow me into the mist.
The truth is, I will come back to get him, once I have everything on the other side in order... but wouldn't it be funner if he came along for the ride?
*please note that I know funner is not a word. I just happen to believe it should be. Oh merciful gods of word chaos just leave me alone.