Thursday, August 27, 2009

Float.....


It wasn't gray or even dim. It was happy with a slice of pie. Side order of hope and a glass of ego. I always have a way of getting by. I break my fingernails on throats who dare to vocalize a "no."

But lately, I've been grounded by Lot's Wife Syndrome. Too much accomplished? Too much at stake? Too many time passages begging re-visitation??

I used to know a boy who told me he woke up one morning on a roof top in Greece and he opened his eyes to see a ripe peach hanging there in front of him, so close he could smell it, and he picked it and ate it without rising first, letting the juice pour down the sides of his mouth.

A moment of floating for sure. No past or present or future in it. No hint or entendre. To hear. To here. To be. To float.

I am getting lost in the what if's and what could's and am losing the place I function in best: What is.

Got to get my what is back on.

Any suggestions?



*this post was inspired by Tricia's Floating Post*

27 comments:

  1. First, wow. Second, right about now I could use a full helping of Hope. Couldn't hurt right? I think it's time for me to float emotionally with my writing goals. In fact I double dare myself to do just that (at least the rest of the week;) Oh well, it's all in God's hands. Great post. (sorry we're in the same funk.)

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  2. You have a way with words! But no, I've don't have any suggestions as I'm struggling here, too.

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  3. One can float even leaning over the kitchen sink biting a peach that is dripping with the nectar of summer, the memory of all the sweet juice of life. I'm still floating--there's something in the air......

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  4. Hmmm...I'm in the same place right now. Sounds like many of us are. I hoping to get back into the groove once school starts for the kids.

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  5. I think we all struggle with living in the present, enjoying every moment. It's good to have dreams, but it's also a little dangerous, isn't it?

    I think the key is to find a balance. I always try to take time every single day, shut down the computer and really enjoy my kids, my husband, my life. Sometimes I don't really want to, but I'm always happier after I've done it.

    And then when everyone is asleep, that's my time to dream, to write, to focus on my future.

    Of course it doesn't always work out this way. There are plenty of days where I feel like I'm chained to my computer, but usually I manage to at least spend my mornings doing non-writer stuff.

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  6. I understand. Being on submission is an uncomfortable liminal state and patience is impossible. As for suggestions, maybe mindfulness a la Thich Nhat Hahn - recognize the doubt, the fear, the conflict of hear and here, honor the strength of the emotions and then let the wind carry them away like dandelion seeds.

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  7. Your words float...well they make me feel like floating anyway. I always feel like writing after reading you. Which is a good thing, cause it's the middle of Thursday here and I just put my son to bed, so it's writing time.

    Suzanne, I suck at waiting. And I often suck at floating or even momentarily getting my feet off the ground. Hope can be a fickle thing with flighty wings. I'll share what sometimes works for me, if that's any help...

    I go lay on my back in the grass and look at the sky. I think about how big the world really is and how this moment in time, this feeling is really so very small. If I am not feeling that romantic, and I frequently aint, I go running. Of if baby is with me, a fast walk. Something about blood rushing to the head that I find very cleansing. And if life still sucks, then I sit in that moment and go 'Okay, it sucks. Today it sucks." And then I go do something gentle for myself ... whatever I feel like or can reasonably do.

    You are am amazingly talent writer. One of these days a ripe peach is going to be hanging just over your head when you wake up. I can feel it. :)
    Tab

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  8. Look at me, not sleeping! Taking a little L&L advice.
    T Anne: Funk is the very rightest word.
    LazyWriter: It isn't fun. Is it?
    Tricia: Smile courtesy of you.
    Donna: WELCOME! :)
    L&L: You waded through that prose and got to the issue. Smart, smart, smart. And look! Here I am taking your advice!
    Andrea: Ahem... same language
    Tab: You are a constant source of support and I am going to find a patch of grass under the moonlight right....now.......

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  9. Don't let Life control you. You have mastery over the direction your life takes. Just activate the controls from time to time. That's all it takes.

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  10. There are times when I'm zapped of emotional energy. I try to remind myself that it's usually a monthly hormonal cycle! And as I tell my children, let's focus on all of the blessings we have, all of many good things that happen and good things we have. That seems to help too.

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  11. Suzann(ah), suggesstion ?,, yes

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  12. I'm dealing w/ the what if a lot with a sick father. Getting the what is back on...hmmm, I think remembering all you do have helps.

    This post spoke to me.
    ~ Wendy

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  13. I think that for some reason, the coming of fall is emotionally hard on everyone. Live's inevitibly become busier, and I think that there's something biological or instincual in us that urges us to hustle in some sort of weird preparation for winter.

    I feel like I've spun off my axis for at least two weeks. Emotionally roller coasters, stress, too many tasks and not enough time..... It takes it toll. Keep your head up and think positive thoughts. Call me any time, I have practice 1-3 MST but call me if you need me :D

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  14. A long, hot, candle lit bath with a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate.

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  15. Hope you found a ray of sunshine in the light of the moon :)

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  16. Take time to stop and smell the rosemary! enJOY your day and congrats on the Post of the Day Award!

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  17. David: Thanks. You are right. And thanks for the nod in your post of the day!
    Jody: I think you may have pegged this one down!
    GLnroz: you do know how to make a girl sigh!
    Wendy: Thanks. I meant to tell you that picture puzzle had me in knots all day!
    Willow: Tonight. No joke. I just have to!
    Strange Fiction: I do believe I did.
    Cheffie-Mom: WELCOME! your website is amazing! Thanks for the visit. AND my daughter's name is Rosemary, so that won't be difficult!
    Mandy: You know....

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  18. I can't read this...The screen is white and the type is too. When I highlight it, it's still white... Waaaah! WHY???

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  19. ACK!

    I just tried from firefox and IE. I wonder what the blog is wrong with it?

    Hmmmmmm. Now that you mention it, another blog I visit was all white this morning, I wonder if it is a blogger glitch?

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  20. I take one measly day off the blogging thing-a-ma-jig and almost miss this beautiful post. Glad I saw it today.

    Chin up, friend. Life is cyclical. It has to be, or our ups would have no meaning.

    My advice? Schedule a massage, and pronto! You need a little 'me time' in your hectic schedule right now and no one is going to do it for you (well, I would if I lived close. I'd schedule us both a massage and then lunch afterward).

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  21. Set a small literary goal, float around for two hours and 38 minutes, then attack that goal with gusto!

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  22. How did I miss this yesterday??
    I find it difficult to really live (and not just exist) in the present because everything right now feels so insignificant, mundane and small. Only in secret when I write and scribble pieces of dreams onto old receipts, do I allow myself to imagine that each of these little things is leading to something big, profound, life-changing.
    I'm both terrified and infatuated by the idea of the future and so I spend most of my time looking toward it.
    Somehow I have to convince myself that now matters and be grateful for it.
    Spending time with loved ones always helps. A couple of days ago, I woke up really early (like ungodly early) and couldn't get back to sleep. I watched the sunrise (squinting and praying please-God-don't-let-me-go-blind-for-looking-at-the-sun-with-the-wrong-eye). It happened faster than I expected - a reminder that time moves faster than I can process it. Humbling. Scary. I'd do it again if the sun would rise at say, noonish...or at least seven.

    Sorry this is so long. I hope you find that perfect balance and get that massage that a few people have recommended!

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  23. Geez, you make even being in a funk sound beautiful! No suggestions here, I'm afraid, this chick ain't floating either (but a massage does sound good!).

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  24. I suggest you to just let it be, do not force it and it will come eventually. You know this, but I repeat it anyway, as well as you know the budhist principles that are suggested in the text.

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  25. Take an hour off, lie down cover your eyes and think of the prettiest, quietest place you know. Float and allow your mind a rest period.

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