Saturday, November 21, 2009

So, three prophets walk into a bar....

where did i go wrong? anne taintor Pictures, Images and Photos

Ever heard that joke? Probably not. But it could be funny, right? It sounds like a GREAT opening for a joke.

Last night I was teaching a class on Organized Religion (Sociology) and I was explaining the idea that perhaps Jesus, Mohammad and Buddha were the same person. Now, now.... before anyone get's offended let's look at two things.

I am simply TEACHING things we learn in the study of the sociology of religion, AND it could be true.

Three prophets, all teaching similar (ohmygodsosimilar) lessons on love, and patience, kindness and forgiveness. All with "paths" to follow. All born within five hundred years of one another and all living in proximity as well.

The truth of it isn't important to me. It is the question of it. The idea of it. The option of it. The amazingness of it. It tickles me to philosophize over it.

So, as you can imagine... there was lively discussion. It was a great class. We all left informed, and as a teacher that's my very favorite thing. Learning.

Anywho, as I walked to my car I kept thinking... "Three Prophets, three prophets, three prophets..."

And then I thought up the line to that joke.... "So, Three Prophets walk into a bar..." and it made me silly.

But I couldn't finish it. Want to know why? I'm not funny. OH GOD! I'm not funny!

I can't write funny either. I'm that artsy sort of writer. Artsy fartsty. I'm someone I make fun of. You know, those people who take themselves toooooooo seriously.

How the words layer and string and dance across the page in a rhythm that I hear like the tide in my head and must come out before they scratch out backwards from under my skin and tattoo me with scars.

Yeah. Okay. So I wish I was funny, like Lisa and Laura or Sarah, or Pearl, or Barbara Poelle (an agent who is kick ass funny and who only blogs on "hey there's a dead guy!" on Tuesdays. I wait and I wait for it)...., or so many other bloggers that make me LAUGH OUT LOUD as I read them.

But I'm not. Crap.

Anyway.... anyone of you talented people want to make up the rest of the joke? Just for kicks? Go ahead. And by the way, even though I said this joke didn't exist, I bet if you googled it SOMETHING would come up. But that's cheating!




  1. Very interesting philisophy discussion. I do believe that after Jesus Christ was resurrected he visited and left his teachings and blessings with every nation. It could possibly be that they were the same person and the messages and story got muddled a bit with time.

    I can't right funny either. In person I'm known to be funny, but it's all voice inflection and facial expression. Mixed with quick one liners.

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  3. Of course I meant to write the word write not right - duh.

  4. Funny or not, you are a super talented writer. Not sure? Check your last post!

    You string words together in a way that no one else I know can! To give us chills. To haunt us. That is a true gift!

  5. Suzy, I wish I could think of something funny, but I think I'm too tired. =) Let us know how you end your joke. =)

  6. I don't believe you can't do funny, good lady. Everyone can do it in one way or another. Your funny just might look different than other folks'. But, since you asked...

    Three prophets walked into a bar....

    ... the fourth one ducked (da dum dum).

  7. I think you are funny. You don't give yourself enough credit.

    Here's my phrophet joke attempt.

    So. Three phrophets walk into a bar, and then bartender says, "what can I get you?"
    One prophet looks at the other two, and says, "I knew he was going to ask that."

    Er, maybe I'm not funny either.

  8. Thanks ALL!

    Amber. Ummmm... I'm laughing!!!!!!! You made a funny!!!!!!!!!

    And Simon, Not too shabby! I'm super tired so it took me a sec. :)

    Carolyn: I tried and tried. No luck.

    Corey: You are way too nice to me. Does your agent rep dark YA? ;)

    Mary: What a Lovely Thought!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. I don't think even funny bloggers could make a punchline out of that set-up.

  10. MLS: You could. I know YOU could ;)

  11. My favorite class in college was "Philosophy of Religion." I'm fascinated by religion and by how each one thinks they're right and the others are wrong.

    Here's my "joke" (and I use the term loosely):

    So, three prophets walk into a bar. One orders a White Russian and the second orders a Long Island Iced Tea. The last prophet orders a Screaming Orgasm.

    Which prophet would you follow?

  12. I love the notion they could all three be the same, in fact I was just pondering the fact this week!

  13. It is an intriguing idea. If you think of how much the three prophets do have in common--love, tolerance, wisdom, empathy--you can see how they could have been close friends had they met socially. I am wondering though, why couldn't their followers be more inclined to be friends and get along in the world?

  14. How cool! Unexpected and perhaps unwarranted shout-out! THank you!


    Three prophets walk into a bar. You woulda thought rthe first one would've seen it, huh?

    Huh? Huh?! OK. I'll work on it.



  15. Suzanne, sorry I'm no good at funny (well the ha ha kind anyway), but I was doing an IET course today,about our soul looking for a human form in which to learn life lessons, and it's weird to come home and read this!
    I came on here to say thanks for your comment over at mine re football. I don't much understand it, rules, offside and all that, but long story short, handling the ball is OUT. He handled, scored, and won the match.The ref didn't see it, so score stands, we lose, they go to World Cup, we don't. But it's over now, life goes on!

  16. Oh, Suzanne, I bet you're much funnier than you think. You can appreciate the humor other people create, which means you do possess the humor gene. Come out to Vegas and we'll work on that together!

  17. Um, where do I start? You are too funny! I swear I've laughed several times during your posts and while reading your comments.
    Do you know what's annoying, though? You're ALSO artsy-fartsy. (Emphasis on the artsy know...) There's no doubt in my mind you can write ANYTHING, even if you tend toward more lyrical, serious material. I told you once I wanted to run away with your words. We'd stay in some cheap motel. Elope. Buy each other tacky, plastic rings from a dollar store. Fight and make-up in public. It's not like I've thought it through or anything.
    To summ, your words make me laugh, cry, and think. I can't ask for more, and...if they (your words, obvi) are single...have them call me, okay? I heart you, whatever you write!

    P.S. Thanks for the shout-out and compliment! :) *hugs*

  18. Suzy, you have humor, I swear you do! I've laughed many times. But also cried, and thought darn hard. I know your feeling though. I was having coffee with someone the other day, talking about Middle Passages and saying, I want to be funny. Even when I think I'm being funny...when I reread, it's not so much. There is an earnestness that sometimes works and sometimes is just plain boring.

    Three prophets. No joke in me. Just the idea that regardless of the physical manifestation, goodness is goodness, which is why the three are so similar. Everyone is seeking the same thing, however they build the concept.

    Once more I will say, I wish I could be in your class.

  19. I can't even remember a joke let alone make one up. BUT I foresee a short story in these three prophets for you.

  20. I'm not funny either, Suzanne--but at least you can say that your stories are forever. (Seriously. Still with me!)

    I love discussions like that. Especially when everyone's willing to be open minded and really delve into it. =]

  21. I would never attempt to finish your opening lines because I'm also NOT funny!

  22. Three prophets walk into a bar.
    The bar's patrons form factions loyal to each of the prophets, each faction claiming to be followers of the one true prophet.
    They destroy the bar.

  23. I am so not funny either, Suzanne. Oftentimes, I don't get jokes. It's as if a synapse is missing in my brain. But I love to laugh. And I love love love your writing. Wish I'd been in your class. Sounds incredibly wonderful.

  24. love funny blogs, so i'll have to check those out. i like your blog for other reasons..and your philosophizing it typically one of them.

    Win a copy of Erica Vetsch's debut novel, The Bartered Bride at Where Romance Meets Therapy

  25. I got nothing on the joke...but really, the opener is all you need! Also, I always thought Jesus and Buddha had a lot of similar ideas. Just sayin'.