Sunday, February 14, 2010

Magic Man

Growing up I learned a lot about love. I was loved, my mother and father loved each other, I loved my friends and family. Love is not as complicated as everyone seems to think. Love is natural.

The hard thing about love alone, is that it isn't a stable force. It's ever changing. Love is wild, like wind. You can love someone and still leave them. You can love someone and lie to them. You can love someone and not like them. You can love someone and beat them. Love alone is dangerous.

I learned that too. And early on I opted out of it altogether. Why bother? I'd rather swim in calm seas than almost drown in a rip tide.

When I met Bill he was just like me. Done. We talked about it as we waited tables next to one another. We didn't like each other much. But we made a good team, we worked hard, and we made each other laugh a lot through service.

It happened slowly. Outside in the cold smoking cigarettes against a crumbling brick wall. Inside as we sat in server meetings and took our job seriously as the others screwed around.

It may sound un-romantic to you, but Bill and I began to love each others work ethic before we ever became attracted to each other physically.

It began with respect. It moved on to humor. It led to a friendship. It grew into love. But not the windy kind.

And now? I can't imagine a life without him. Of course there's the love. But the stability, the friendship, the concern, the dualism that we've created. The friendship that burns hot between us. The real truth of the feeling the pours out of his fingers as they touch the collar of my shirt or the bobby pin in my hair without even knowing it.

A finer, stronger love there never was. Not for me anyway.

And he cleans the house too.

Happy Valentines Day all! I hope whoever you woke up with today was your best friend. And that still stands if you happened to wake up alone.

XO
S

24 comments:

  1. Lovely. Glad ya tweeted. Happy St. Valentine's to you and your hard working love.

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  2. What a sweet story. My hubs and I met while working as servers, too. However, my work ethic outshone his.

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  3. "Love is wild, like wind." Yes, it's volatile and wonderful and scary and unforgettable. I'm glad you found the kind that is deep and solid. Absolutely lovely post. Happy Valentine's Day!

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  4. Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. I love the "extraordinary ordinariness" of this post, too! You are blessed in love.

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  5. Great post, and so true. Happy Valentine's Day to you, too!

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  6. A beautifully written post - and so astute too.

    . . . "The hard thing about love alone, is that it isn't a stable force. It's ever changing. Love is wild, like wind. You can love someone and still leave them. You can love someone and lie to them. You can love someone and not like them. You can love someone and beat them. Love alone is dangerous."

    So true.

    I am glad that both you and I have found a love that is anchored by a deep friendship.

    I love your writing. :-)

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  7. There is something wildly romantic about love grown inside friendship - something very hopeful about it, like you could actually just be yourself and be true and be loved all at once. Glad you wake up with your best friend :)

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  8. I love this! I think best friends make the best couples.

    My husband and I were best friends for years before we started to realize we both "liked" each other. He is awesome.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story. Happy Valentine's. =)

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  9. Lovely tale of a love growing slowly but surely.
    Happy V Day!

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  10. Yup. Woke up with my best friend. :)

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  11. Yes, I'm very lucky my "best friend" woke up beside me.
    Karen

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  12. What a wonderful start to each new day. Waking up with your best friend.

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  13. That is so beautiful. I so believe in that kind of love, too. Not in the magic, but in the let's make our magic. Let's get to know each other as people, our normal each and every day without make up, up to our elbows in life people. And then love is loving, and not dreaming.
    Love the line, Love is dangerous:)

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  14. what a sweet ode to your love. i understand the relationship first built upon work ethic, it's the respect that is gained first. Hope you had a wonderful day together!

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  15. Beautiful. I'm so happy for you that you are married to not just your true love but also your best friend. Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's.

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  16. Definitely think respect and friendship is the basis for real love between two people. Lucky girl, you!

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  17. Sounds very romantic to me - and he cleans the house? You definitely have a keeper. I have an award for you at my blog :)

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  18. What a sweet post! I followed you over from another blog. It's so great getting into the minds of so many unbelievable writers!

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  19. Here here! Matt and I are friends first. Lovers second. You spend more time being friends anyway. And our friendship burns hot white too. :)

    Lovely post. I like you Bill. If you get what I mean :)

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  20. I just discovered your blog via a Twitter post. I so believe that the best kind of love is one that grows with time and is based on respect, and adapting to one another during the years. I met my husband through an ad in the paper, and we;ve been happily married for 23 years with 3 sons.

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  21. What a sweet tribute.

    My marriage is founded in friendship too. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love having my best friend by my side everyday.

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  22. I met while working as servers, too. However, my work ethic outshone his.

    Work from home India

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  23. Wow. I just LOVE that you said your friendship burns hot. That's how I feel about my guy. Happy Valentines, Suzanne. A girl who deserves it more, I don't know.

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