Thursday, April 1, 2010

Terminal

I love words. They provide so much comfort. So when the doctors told us gram's cancer was terminal, that they'd missed how extensive the cells were, I had a dizzying moment of grasping at the words.

Terminal. It means deadly, mortal, life threatening. But you know what else it means? Station. Like a railroad station. A place where you wait, grab a cup of coffee, pick up a novel with a shiny cover or a gossip magazine and wait. And where do you go? Well, sure.. some people go to work, or school. But sometimes people go on vacation.

Maybe her diagnosis really means a trip on the Orient Express.

Yes. That's it. She'll be young again in all her finery. The coach will be luxurious. The china, fine. The wine decanted by porters wearing starched white shirts.

I'm always excited to go on a trip. To see what exists beyond the windows. The scenery a blur.

I want her to be excited too. When you're ninety three years old and your body is failing, it can't be bad to view death as a new start. It just can't.

She's had a good life. And now there's a wait at the terminal. I hope she sends lots of postcards.

XO

S

21 comments:

  1. That's a beautiful way to look at it. I love that.

    I'm sorry about your grandmother.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very well written! I will be going to heaven my self but it could be very much as you have described it. An absolutely beautiful picture you have drawn with your words. You sound on the accepting side of things. I am glad for that and know I wish you well. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ahh... I've seen too many of those diagnoses this year in my friends and acquaintances. I do wish your grandmother well on this next stage of her journey. My thoughts are with you as you watch her take the first step.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am sorry to hear that your gram is so sick, but I do believe that you will receive those postcards. Once again you have written a beautiful and astute take on another milestone in life.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a wonderful way to look at this. Sorry about your grandma, but how nice you can keep her company during this stay at the terminal. I always wonder what it feels like to process that kind of information about yourself, being labeled terminal. If she says anything profound about it, I hope you will share it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How beautifully you put it!

    I am sorry for your loss.

    I have been reading you on Google Reader and just came over to post this comment. Love what you did with the site since I was last here.

    Blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so sorry about your grandma, I am sending you much love and many prayers.....she will love heaven........:-) Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  8. You're brave, very brave!
    I don't think I could see it like that, but who knows?
    Sending love and light your way, for you and your gram.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ms Suzyhayze,,good thoughts...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Beautiful words - I love it, what a wonderful way to view it.

    Life itself is terminal, it is built into the very fabric of life itself.

    Life and death are two sides of the same line.

    Death can come in an instant or creep up on us unaware, or we can prepare as we are waiting at the terminal.

    That transition is as natural as life itself and hopefully comes at the end of a long life as your grams will do.

    Love to you all. x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Suzy, what a lovely, positive vision of death. I imagine it will be a beautiful journey for all of us, not so much for those left behind. Wishing you comfort and strength.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. (hugs)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am sorry your news was not good. May her journey be a comfortable one. A beautiful, but sad post.

    ReplyDelete
  14. And I know she'll be there to meet you at the station on that far distant day of your arrival. Lovely post. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, I am so sorry about your gram, Suzanne. We just lost my mother-in-law - she was diagnosed with acute leukemia and she was gone 3 weeks later. It's hard when it happens so quickly. I love the way you are looking at this. Sending you blessings,
    karen

    ReplyDelete
  16. I like your analogy. It is a lovely way to think of this journey. Thinking of you Suzy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. All,

    Thank you SO much for your kind words. It's a difficult time. And a beautiful time.

    XO Suzy

    ReplyDelete
  18. beautiful post, Suzanne. Your grandmother will always be with you, and you her. I talk to mine all the time. (I've always wondered about that word, terminal. Pilots saying "this flight terminates in...." always has felt like a poor choice of words :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am sorry about your grandma. Your views are beautiful and positive.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a great way to look at whatever life is hauling in. Inspiring.

    ReplyDelete