Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Wishes




My mother wished she lived someplace else all the time. She shifted furniture, bought home and garden magazines, and drew beautiful pictures of landscape and property on graph paper with colored pencils as I fell asleep beside her dreaming of where we would eventually end up.

The thing is... we ended up where we were.

And I couldn't be happier. I love it here. My home. The ocean on one side, the river on the other. The working class neighborhood. The arguing neighbors. I love the messy, crumbling chaos of a city that lives forever on the brink of greatness.

The snotty New Englandness enfolded into immigrant arms.

I'd never move.

And still... there is a romance about being full of hopes and dreams and wishes of elsewhere. My mother, for all her seamlessly hopeless searching did an amazing thing. One of those byproducts that you never expect. She moved me. As I was always happy where I was (usually right next to her) and never felt the losses she felt... I was able to go on her adventures without the crushing blow of reality when they eventually came to an end.

I learned how to dream without needing the dream to come true. I learned the art of the story.

Thanks Mommy.

XO
S

15 comments:

  1. Suzy,

    That was beautiful. You need a bigger audience!

    C

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  2. Oh my, I teared up. Written with such a voice, sweetness and appreciation. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. Very beautiful. Dream without needing the dream to come true. I'd never thought about that. But an wonderful gift.

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  4. Your essays are always so personal and lyrical. Through your words I know the place, the dream and the art. Thanks.

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  5. I enjoyed this post. I hope to plant the same dream seed into my 3 little ones.

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  6. We don't have to leave our couches to travel, do we? I traveled everywhere I needed to in books.

    Lovely post, as always, good lady.

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  7. I too love the romance of dreaming about a far-off place. Beautifully said!

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  8. "...without needing the dream to come true." Wow. I haven't learned how to do that yet - but I should!

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  9. The way you write moves me. :)

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  10. Ditto everyone who said this was beautiful. :)

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  11. That was awesome. (My mom moved furniture around too. To this day I don't know how people can stand to leave their furniture in the same place for years).

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  12. your writing always moves me in the best way... I can never quite put my finger on how you do it :)

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  13. The best is when you wake up and realize your dream is all around you!

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