Friday, July 16, 2010

Grooming

I've been tagged many times in those blogging world lists. You know, ten things... seven things... twenty five surprising, random, crazy things about you. I did one once. You can read it here. But honestly, I always feel kind of funny and vain when I do them (NOT that anyone who does them IS vain.) I think I'm just conceited by nature and don't like to explore or exploit that particular flaw.

BUT

One thing I will share with all of you is this: I HATE GROOMING

Period. I don't like taking showers or baths. (Ahem, I do take them. Daily. So no "Ewww" comments, okay? I just don't like them.)
I don't like manicures or pedicures.
I don't like massages or face masks.
I don't like brushing my hair.
I don't like hot curlers or hairpins or flat irons or trips to the salon.
I don't like shaving.
I don't like smelly bath salts.
I don't like moisturizing.

I do like brushing my teeth and am obsessed with flossing, go figure.

In my perfect world, this is how the grooming process would go:

I'd slip into a jasmine scented, jade green pool of fresh water at the end of the day and immerse myself just as the sun fell below the horizon.

I'd come out clean and let the many colored sky dry me as the moon rose high with stars and velvet breeze.

And then? I'd run back into the ancient forests to put on white cotton pajamas and sleep in a tree.

How about you?

18 comments:

  1. Haha excepting sleeping in trees (not as cool as it sounds), your perfect world is pretty neat.
    I reckon grooming wise, I follow a practical approach what serves a purpose is done and what does not isn't. The rub lies in defining what a purpose is.
    In my perfect world, my body would groom itself while I slept. Like a self cleaning oven. ; j

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always knew you were some sort of little monkey,, lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funny! I get weary of it. I am working on simplifying that part of my life, but it might take an intervention to get me to release my hold on the graveyard of products that I have tried and discarded. You have inspired me to get that going by the end of August. There. I set a deadline for myself too! (Now, if I can just remember that and stick to it!).
    Enjoy the day!
    Erin

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'd ditto your pool, only I'd jump in during a multicolored dawn...and then lay on the edge and let the sun warm me. Oh, and I'd do it with eyes that could see the whole experience without glasses.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can't stand putting on lotion. I feel like it is such a CHORE! I don't do anything with my nails - you have to KEEP UP with it - ugh. Shaving sucks. Yeah, I could go on and on. The other day, someone was blogging about some fancy skin, mask, or make up stuff, and I was like - I have a hard enough time keeping the eyebrows plucked.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What I hate most is drying my hair (oh, and dyeing my hair!).
    Other stuff, showers, hair removal, I can take, I just do it as quickly as I can.
    But massages...I LOVE! Would need to, as an aromatherapist, wouldn't I?
    My ideal world? I'd get my hair blowdried every second day in the hairdressers.
    Does that make me low or high maintenance?

    ReplyDelete
  7. In my perfect world, drinking vodka would make your sweat antibacterial, so you'd never have BO issues. (Although you might smell like vodka, but let's face it, that's sexy, so what's not to love about this situation?)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes, I can relate to your feelings about tags.

    I like my daily shower and anyone that has been around me after I missed it, is certainly glad that I scrub every 24 hours.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I won't say I hate grooming, but I'm not much of a primper. My hair is short so I don't have to blow dry, curl, or straighten it. I feel perfectly okay leaving the house without makeup, and my nails (while clean and generally well-shaped) are not painted more than a couple times a year.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't really like grooming either... showers are tedious, and take so much time...

    I refuse to get manis/pedis/massages too, but that's mostly because I don't like other people touching me!

    Though, like you, I am obsessed with teeth cleanliness. If my teeth aren't clean, the rest of me feels gross no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi there!

    Shortstorybook.net is organizing a short story writing contest.

    We do think that you too might have a marvelous story to tell, one that is your own! So if you can compose it in not more than few words, we would want to hear from you. Also, you stand a chance to get your story published on our site and win cash prize of USD 100.

    “Then what are you waiting for? …put on your thinking cap and get writing. For registration and other information check - http://bit.ly/short-story-contest-2010

    Happy writing!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes, grooming is a necessary drag. It just takes so much time! In my fantasy world, I'd be able to afford a cook and a housekeeper, and I'd practically live in my writing space when I'm not traveling the world, especially to edgy places like Afghanistan and the southern Caucasus.
    By the way, love your blog, just clicked in to follow. You have a fun mind--part dark and part hilarious. Good combo.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like your pool idea. Grooming takes too long.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have a haircut that requires NO CARE other than washing and combing. I am a fanatic about brushing and flossing. I used to love to fill the bathtub with bubbles, and just relaxing, but my tub has become way too big, so now I just stand in the shower and dream of being in a rain forest.
    I love my bed! I have cotton sheets and lots of lovely pillows that take no care.
    If someone would lavish me with lotion, that would be perfect, because I have dry skin which I tend to ignore.
    If you want to see my carefree haircut, go to my blog. I never waste time with artificial color.

    ReplyDelete