Thursday, September 9, 2010

Wise Woman?

My mother misses me. I know for sure she does. We have moments from time to time that remind us of what we had, and I can't speak for her... but sometimes I wish those moments wouldn't happen. I'm good at running away. It's in my genes. My father used his legs, I use my mind.

I've left people just as surely as he did, but in an awfuller way-- I think. Isn't it worse to have someone right in front of you who is obviously gone?

Sure, my best friends an loyal supporters would say "But it's a defense mechanism.... it's okay. It's how you keep yourself safe."

But what is this concept of safe? I don't embrace that kind of life! I like to LIVE. I like to jump off cliffs and keep promises and rear children. I like ferry crossings and Autumn and night swimming. I fear NOTHING. Bad things make my writing better. So why do I turn away so easily?

I don't know. All I know is that I am lucky enough to notice when it happens and address it. Or at least try to address it. Or at least write about trying to address it.

Oh well. Off to visit my characters and let them have their moment of reconciliation. Maybe they'll teach me a thing or two.

XO
S

8 comments:

  1. I often think my mother misses me too. What do you do when you just don't have anything in common? Not that this is me and my mom, I'm just wondering how to maintain that relationship. Fake it?

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  2. turn away?? inconcievable concept..

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  3. Wow Suzy this is some powerful stuff and it's got my gears turning *hugs*

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  4. my comment was my viewpoint, not being judgemnetal...lol

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  5. This is powerful. I get along with my mom, but we hardly see each other. I hope it gets better for you two. <3

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  6. I think mothers always miss their children, and you're still her child, but you know that.
    I, on the other hand, miss my Mom.
    Hard to have it all, isn't it?

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  7. I think that is the point of adulthood.. when we finally recognize when and what we are running from...

    which really is just a catch 22, we know why and what, but...

    but, still, we ache.

    I feel ya, sister.

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  8. I miss my sister. She is right in front of me, but right now, she's gone.

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