Monday, August 4, 2014

7 reasons why it's okay to be Batshit Crazy

WARNING: If this makes sense to you, YOU ARE IN CRAZYPANTS LAND. If it does not make sense to you (you lucky, lucky people), I want to have what you're having. 

There are more than seven reasons. There are like, all the reasons. Reasons that aren't even numbers anymore or even infinity because there MIGHT BE SOMETHING BIGGER than that.. or if bigger means smaller than maybe it's zero. Or not. Because in a world where all the sane people number things in hierarchical order, and the rest of us feel we must live up (or NOT live up) to whatever number we deem important, (because non compliance really means you must first be in compliance or you don't understand what you are working against, right)… wait….. what?

See, I'd rather be batshit crazy.
So, number….

1. It's okay to be B..S..T crazy because really? Why not.

4. It's okay to go out of order if you are B.S Crazy. (you can also change up the way you shorten BATSHIT) Which is really,

2. … you don't have to do anything in any particular order, ever. Unless being disorderly becomes order. OR unless it sends you to jail. (Unless, of course, you find your bliss in jail, in which case, CARRY ON.) … which is really number FIVE, Because….

5. ….being BATSH** crazy means you don't ever really judge anything ever. Like, LIVE AND LET LIVE. Sort of. Because the big things? B. Shit people don't care. We only really judge you if you are wearing really, really terrible shoes. Not ugly trendy… those are cool. Just, like, inappropriate. Which is really….

7. ….It's okay to be BATSHIT Crazy because only YOU need to know what you are talking about, or if you are REALLY going to poke a fork in someones eye, which you know you would not do, but thinking about it amuses you and maybe someday you will…. because number 6,,,

6. You are easily amused by yourself. This means you save a lot of money on entertainment expenses.

And there doesn't even have to be a number 3. Because if you are Batshit Crazy you can keep your favorite number and write down an invisible, terribly important reason, that only OTHER Lost and B.S Crazy Witches will be able to read in the invisible ink of the internet. Okay, there you go!

If you can clearly read reason number 3, comment here! I can't wait. And if you have just decided you can't understand a word I wrote, Don't be ALARMED!…. I am currently in the BS CRAZY mode. When I return from crazy pants land, I will not be able to read it either. So, simply bookmark this post and read when you are feeling like nothing makes sense. Because at that point? YES, you get it… this will!

LOVE, The Lost Witch. (ME)


  1. Actually I can relate to BatShit on many levels. For the last couple of days we have had a couple of bats flying through our cranky Victorian house.Not sure if they are shitting while flying and trying to escape our blood curdling screams and our tennis rackets! Then bat conservation sets in and we try to calm down (translation?lower the volume on the screaming) and just open the front and back doors so they can fly out. Am beginning to think my writing process is going to be BATSHIT for a couple more days!

  2. I'm laughing. I can see this all come gurgling out, and I bet it got some extra-creative juices flowing. Batshit away, my dear.

  3. I listened to my little neighbor count as he was playing Hide & Go Seek...
    1,2,3,4,6,8,9,10,6!!!! READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!
    Bat Shit Crazy 4life! "Crazy Pants Land, I nice place to live" (that's the sign that sits outside of town off the highway - can you see it?)

  4. OMG, I thought I'd never see you here again. I've missed your blogging.
    Right, I know, you've been busy being seventeen different people and there are only 24 hours in every day and you're using 39,'s good to see you back here, even moreso because of all the reasons you haven't been able to be here.

    So, this: You are easily amused by yourself. This means you save a lot of money on entertainment expenses.
    probably sums up everyone who loves you. I think you are surrounded by these people.
    I told Gabe, once, that I never wanted to get married because I'm happier with just myself than I am with anyone else I know. Well, except for maybe my BFF, Tina, who is the opposite of me and, thus, the same.

    You already know how much I love the term "Batshit crazy" so I won't even expound on that.

    On the plus side? If everyone you know can relate to this list, it means we're not the crazy ones. We're the majority. Statistically speaking, that makes us the purveyors of normalcy and that is going to suck for everyone who is not this way.

    Anyway, I love you and have missed you and if your guano comes from fruit bats, it's just juice anyway.

    (P.S. I want to go live in Linda English's house. I freaking LOVE bats and can't get any to live near me!)

  5. Enjoyed.. Am having that kind of day...

  6. yep,,wait,,,no,,,hum,,yes I I ?..WTF u talking about? ohhh that..yep...I was a'greeeing all along,,,reckon?

  7. 3.

    (You have to be able to read invisible internet ink to read my answer, and- if you can, you are probably Batshit Crazy!)

  8. Thats crazy game. I hope yo don't mind .. LOL.. Buzz Application

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